Bimbo Blowout

It started when my wife noticed that, basically, Google had trashed her entire blog. She is an active blogger because she loves writing, but she was also participating in a scheme were companies would pay bloggers money and then the bloggers would create certain posts talking about their products. Of course, there was a disclaimer saying she was basically writing an ad. This was nice for her, because she could make some spending money on the side doing what she already loves to do.

The practice goes by the initials PPP. I can't say what the initials stand for, because Google is always watching. You'll find out why in a second.

Turns out that Google doesn't like people getting paid to write product testimonials and advertisements. I'm sure it is out of a desire to make their search engine as good as possible, but one wonders why paid recommendations would not be a relevant thing to retrieve when searching for a product. After all, paid advertisements pop up just fine on the side of the search column, and what's the difference between my writing a blog saying I love product X and getting paid to do the same thing? What if I didn't get paid, and just got a free sample? What if the company just called and asked me to do it? What if a friend asked me?

As you can see, no matter how pure Google's intentions, decisions like this are always evil to a certain degree. If you're controlling my visibility to the entire world then to some degree you have to step inside my head and decide if my intentions are pure and my motives clean. Imposing your morality on others -- that's about as evil as it gets. Plus let's not forget that Google has their own advertising scheme, one which directly competes with PPP. But I digress.

So in the dark of the night, Google went through a few weeks ago and zapped anybody who had a blog with PPP on it. That's why I can't say what the letters stand for. I'll get zapped too.

It's bad enough they killed the business for thousands of small ad copy writers like my wife, but in the proess they also ended my plans for world web domination.

You see, I had a simple plan to control the web. I figure there are two major things that people can't get enough of and are growing like wildfire -- technology and sex. Usually sex that has something to do with somebody famous, but any kind of sexual reference will do. Technology because people are always envying new gadgets and stuff that will make their lives easier.

If I were smart, I'd have a blog called "Naked Famous People and the Cool Gadgets they use" but alas, it has too many syllables and I don't actually know any famous people, naked or not, nor do I know what kinds of gadgets they use, if any. Somehow I get the feeling that Britney Spears with an iPod would be like a monkey with a math problem, but perhaps I am mistaken.

So my plan was to write about stuff I do know about, technology, management, startups, programming, flying, politics, and philosophy. Unfortunately, there are no naked celebrities anywhere in this list. But lucky for me, there's always a reason to include one now and then, as I am doing in this article.

What I found out was that, over time, people came to the site more because of the cute girls than the technology stories. Gee, you might say, not much of a surprise there, Danno, but I thought it was an interesting phenomenon. In fact, it looked like the more stories I posted that had some element of cute girls in it the more "drive-by" visits I would get.

But that's not to be. Looking at my blog stats this morning, Google has also killed most of my cute-girl-tech-story-takeover-the-world master plan. I'm just not getting the hits I used to get. Now, oddly enough, it looks like people are actually coming by for the content! What kind of stupid deal is that?!? What? You expect good writing? E-gads!

So one plan was foiled, but I have others! (insert evil laugh here) As soon as I build that nuclear reactor in my basement I can complete my death ray and you will all pay! Pay I tell you!

And the first person I plan to shoot is a naked famous person using a cool gadget!