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Winnie the Pooh Eats Small Children

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Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh is currently owned by
Walt Disney Corporation, causers of global warming

The above title is a test.

Don't worry -- it's not linkbait. Or if it is, it's a linkbait experiment. Something really strange has happened over the past few years of blogging and I want to see if I can make it happen again.

Winnie the Pooh
After a while, honey gets old.
Wonder what would go well with honey?

About a year or two ago I wrote an essay on the Global Warming Argument. For the record, I'm a proud denier/wacko and think the tone of the Global Warming argument sucks.

The purpose of my essay was to show that we're socializing kids to think of animals and the planet just as if they are people too, and it's dogmatic idiocracy if I've ever seen it. Animals don't talk. The planet does not have a fever. This entire anthropomorphizing of environmental issues makes them much more difficult to discuss rationally. I think this is something folks on all sides of the debate can agree on, but who knows? It's a tough area in general, which is why I blogged on it.

Winnie the Pooh
Hmm. Good with honey. Good with honey.
What would taste good with honey?

So my essay was titled "Did Walt Disney Cause Global Warming?" -- by which I meant that the entire concept of Disney talking animals being a major cause of dumbing down the audience.

Gee. Was I in for a surprise.

Somehow the article became popular. Right now it's one of my top pages. But in a strange, reverso-kind of way, it's completely unpopular.

I get scads of hits on it a day, mostly folks looking for Disney pictures, I imagine. You would think that they'd get their picture and leave, or better yet, read the article and then comment.

But that's not what happens. What happens is that they comment anyway without reading anything but the title. And it's mostly this strange mix of attacks against me -- me! -- for trashing Walt Disney.

Winnie the Pooh
Sometimes you feel bad about eating them, but they just taste so good!

Hey. For the record, I love Walt Disney. Great guy, great company, great American success story. I love a lot of Disney's films. Dang it, I even sing the Mickey Mouse Club song every now and then.

But like clockwork, several times a week I get the comments. Most of them are too profane for me to allow on the blog. You'd think people who liked Disney and talking animals would be a nice bunch of latte drinkers but no, let me tell you they're some real potty-mouthed bambi-lovers out there.

And I like Winnie-the-Pooh too, although I have to say the books were about 5 zillion times better than the commercial monstrosity Disney has turned Pooh into. The books had a cute little bear as a character. Corporate Pooh is like a big brown, hairy, stuffed version of Miley Cyrus. Much too money-grubbing for my tastes.

Winnie the Pooh
Winnie The Pooh, aka Edward Bear, appears in court with his attorney.
No comment was made

If you're going to come and pick up pictures, that's fine. If you're going to comment, that's fine too. But at least do yourself the courtesy of actually reading and understanding an article before you comment on it. Geesh. This place is starting to look like YouTube.

It goes to prove my maxim about the internet: never have so few people had so much to say about that which they know so little about. You've got a keyboard, the blog has a comment section, you've got an opinion (informed or not) -- Bob's your Uncle.

Winnie the Pooh

Parents have started dressing children up like the Pooh
in an attempt to protect them from danger.

Interestingly, "Winnie-the-Pooh" with hyphens refers to the book character. "Winnie the Pooh" without hypens refers to the Disney character. A.A. Milne, creator of Pooh, recycled a bunch of his works to place in the pooh books, proving that if your writing doesn't work the first time, just keep recycling and improving it until it does.

Milne was also very liberal with letting people use the Pooh name and image: so much so that Disney went through a protracted legal battle trying to secure rights to sucker people out of use the character in its works. This thing went on decades, starting the 1960s and finishing up in 2006. Those Disney guys REALLY like their Winnie the Pooh, it seems. Enough to spend millions making sure they and only they are the owners.

So if there are any Disney lawyers out there -- I love you guys. Love the legal profession. I believe the use of images here constitute satire. In addition, this article is educational in tone, discussing how silly people are and how the Pooh character relates to that. So I'm claiming fair use. I'd also like to add that I watch Law and Order all of the time. You can ask my wife.

No Winnie-the-Poohs were harmed in the construction of this article. All Pooh pictures were lifted borrowed from other publicly-available sites on the internet. Please do not operate heavy machinery after reading this article. Reader assumes all risks associated with accessing this website.

UPDATE: For those of you looking for cute, cuddly Winnie The Pooh stuff, here is all you could ever want.


You call this a 'quickie?' Stop dissing Pooh!!!!

Yes. That was a short blog entry.

And I'm not dissing Pooh. I love the little furry pipsqueak.

That's hilarious! It's unbelieveable how many knee-jerkers are prowling the Net. Sounds like you've really got a Tigger by the tail.

That's hilarious! It's unbelieveable how many knee-jerkers are prowling the Net. Sounds like you've really got a Tigger by the tail.

It really is amazing how people see one word or phrase and then refuse to read the rest of the post. I'm not sure what happens next in their minds to create the rants that follow. I think they think they can predict what you are going to say, then comment away! Then they get even more irrational when you tell them what the subject of the post really was.

If you want people to really rant uncontrollably, write anything about either gun control, Dick Cheney, or President Obama. Whether you are for or against any of those topics, people will rant about things that have nothing to do with what you said!

I cant believe you would say anything bad or harsh about Winnie The Pooh especially the absurd comment that he eats children. You should be ashamed! Tisk*


I loved pooh so much...

Obviously Walt causing global warming is not meant in a literal sense. Judging from the responses maybe it isn't that obvious but I digress. Rather Walt's humanizing of animals in nature has lead to a collective hightened sensitivity toward our place in regard to nature. If animals could talk I'm sure they would regard Walt with some degree of revenance for furtheing their "rights" so to speak. As someone whose grown up watching talking animals even learning things from them in an educational video type setting I personally find myself at times attaching an equal level of empathy to a dog,cat, etc. that I would a person. Whether or not that's solely Disney or partial upbringing is another matter entirely but I'm certainly not championing the causes of some obscure species in some country. However our sensitizing toward nature is a facet of evolution and further intelligence, not a bleeding heart. Animal, Geological, and Quantum Physics studies have shown us how inter-related we all are (i.e. all matter being composed of the same subatomic particles). The notion that we should distinguish between value of various life is fine and very relevant for someone attempting to raise a family but it hints at a concept of separation between man and nature that has old testament undertones. The world shows us as we learn more that nature was not created to be subjugated by man, sorry we weren't sent out into the world to, "have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle etc. etc.", view the whole entirety of it as a giant park. We all started out on an equal genetic playing and our evolutionary tree had us come out on top, at least for the time being. The perspective of viewing nature as important but of lesser value ultimately then humanity is the ideology that brought about Global Warming. Global Warming is a serious issue, outside american politics at least where it hasn't been reduced to a partisan platform argument. It needs serious contemplation, especially in the sense of how we use our remaining resources. It has nothing with any dogma besides the one you make known inherently by virtue of your view of this situation. I would love to peg Walt Disney with global warming as an Orlando Native I've grown up to the realization that the Magic Kingdom has made my community anything but, rather a vapid transplant tourist filled infrastructure nightmare with no actual identity. Walt gets a pass on this one romanticism isn't at play here what is, is a situation that is forcing humanity to re-evaluate its place in its environment and in doing that questions belief systems that have been in place for centuries.

i cant belive how you can diss pooh like that and thanks for getting my kids scared that pooh would eat them

what a shock title..haha...i love pooh..

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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by DanielBMarkham published on February 8, 2009 3:49 PM.

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Recent Comments

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  • DanielBMarkham: Yes. That was a short blog entry. And I'm not read more

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